February 5th of this year, the 1 year anniversary of the week that Travis left for Minnesota, I (Claudia) was having a very difficult time, processing through what went on the year before:
I was sitting, reading a bit that morning, and could see the sunrise from my seat in our family room. It was really pretty and pink. I just couldn't concentrate on reading, because the sunrise color just lasts for a few moments it seems. I thought - maybe I'll make a point of watching the sunrise every morning (it's kind of a FREE light show from God), and while I was watching - I got this impression that God was giving me a little message.
In about a minute or so these images were brought to mind:
I remembered when my children were little, that I needed to keep a very close eye on them - especially when we were away from our familiar places - someplace new (they wouldn't be aware of new danger)
I also remembered when I was 13, our family took a trip across the U.S. and we visited the Grand Canyon - I couldn't even remember enjoying the visit because I was worried about my little brothers - Phil was 8 and Clif 6. I needed to know where they were, because I was afraid they would get too close to the edge and fall into the Canyon.
Well, God must know a mother's heart (he created it, of course he knows it) because I felt he was giving me a little whisper that morning saying "It's ok, he's with me". I know when I was separated from my children, that if someone else could say to me . . . It's ok, he's with me, I would be able to rest that I didn't need to worry anymore - they were being taken care of.
That is the message I felt God whispering to me - I found it comforting, and through the weeks and months following that message, I have become more aware that since God is taking care of my missing son, that he wants me to just relax and enjoy the time He has left for me on this Earth - always looking forward to being reunited later on. I know that thought of "It's ok, he's with me" will remain with me as I watch the sunrise or sunset from now on - Now the pictures we took of the sunrise and sunset on Travis's birthday seem much more important.